What to Write in a Letter to Your Mom (Ideas She'll Love)

The pen feels awkward in your hand and the blank page seems intimidating. You're about to put ink to paper, but you're stuck. You ask yourself, "Where do I begin? What should I say?"

This is where most letters die. You're not lazy or thoughtless — you just need a first sentence to get you started.

After a lifetime of writing letters, I can tell you the secret is simple: write from the heart. The only problem is that you actually have to start. The prompts below will get you there.

If you're sitting down to write your mom a letter — for her birthday, for Mother's Day, for no reason at all, which is honestly the best reason — here are twelve prompts to choose from. Pick one. Pick three. Pick the one that makes you uncomfortable. That's usually the one you need to write the most.

What to write in a letter when you don't know where to start

These prompts are written with your mom in mind, but most of them work for anyone you love — a sister, a friend, a daughter, your own self ten years from now. 

We all could use a letter from someone we love.

1. Tell her about a specific memory you've never told her you remember. It doesn't have to be big. Tell her about the smell of her car in 1998. The song she used to hum while doing dishes. The way she said Come here, I want to show you something and it was always something small and beautiful. The point is to express a small, special moment you remember with fondness that you carry to this day.

2. Thank her for one thing she probably doesn't know she did. Most mothers think they failed at the things they actually got right. Tell her about a moment she shaped you without realizing it. That time you let me quit ballet without making me feel ashamed. That summer you took me to the library every Wednesday. Tell her why you chose that memory, what that time or moment meant to you, and how it helped you become the person you are today.

3. Tell her what you've been thinking about lately. Not a superficial update. A meaningful one. What you've been obsessing about while you're driving. What you've been reading. What you can't stop wondering about. A letter is the next best thing to being there in person.

4. Describe something beautiful you saw this week. The afternoon sun casting its light through the kitchen window. Someone playing fetch with their dog in the park. A line in a book that struck you. This type of letter gives the reader permission to notice and appreciate beauty long after they've finished reading.

5. Ask her a question you've never asked her. When you were younger, what did you think your life would be like? What's the bravest thing you ever did that nobody knows about? Do you have any regrets? Questions like these tell her you see her as a whole person, not just the role she's played in your life. You might tell her why you're asking — or share your own answer.

6. Tell her what you're afraid of. This prompt is really hard for some people. It requires vulnerability. You'll need to exercise some wisdom when it comes to confiding in the recipient. I'm assuming you're writing to someone who loves you. Letters are powerful because you can be quietly honest in a way that everyday conversation rarely allows.

7. Tell her something she told you that you finally understand. Almost everyone has one of these. That saying she had that made you roll your eyes when you were 15. Now you catch yourself saying it to your own kids. Tell her you weren't really listening at the time, but now you get it. Finally.

8. Describe an ordinary day in your life right now. What time you got up. What you ate. What's on your nightstand. What's annoying you. What's making you laugh. She wants to know about the ebb and flow of your days. You don't always have to share the highlights. Knowing how you spend your days allows her to know you as you are.

9. Tell her a story she's never heard. Something that you experienced that you never got around to telling her. The interesting conversation with your Uber driver. The dramatic couple at the table next to you the other day. The time you found a dollar in your pocket. Letters have enough space for the stories that might not make it into a phone call or text.

10. Tell her what you hope for her. Most of us tell our mothers what we hope from them. What do you hope for her — for the next year, the next decade, the rest of her life? If you're curious, ask her what she hopes for herself. She may not have considered it before you asked.

11. Write the letter you wish she'd written you. Ouch. This one's for the harder relationships. The ones that have grown quiet over the years. Write what you wish she had said to you. You may not even send it — that's okay. The unsent letter can still be very healing.

12. End with what you'd say if you knew she'd read it again. If she's anything like me she'll keep it in her special letterbox or drawer, along with the card you gave her 15 years ago. She might forget about it, but when she sees it again, she'll instantly recognize it and smile. Then she'll smile all over again, reading it for the umpteenth time.

A few small things to help you.

Don't worry about your handwriting. Don't worry about sounding like a super fabulous writer. It's okay to cross things out. We all make mistakes. Mistakes just prove a real person was on the other end of the pen.

Put today's date on your letter. Your letter is a snapshot in time and the date helps her remember the context. It's a small detail, but it's invaluable.

If you get stuck mid-letter, you can write, "I'm stuck so I'm changing subjects." or "I'm stuck so I'll have to finish later." (And then be sure to finish!) or "I'm stuck. I love you." and then sign your name.

And if you can't fit it all on one page, start another one! Letters are as long as they need to be.

If you want to keep writing letters but need a little inspiration

Letter writing and journaling are practices I could not live without.

They're the practices that became The AlphaBet Journal. Every month, I draft a personal letter in my journal. It's a letter written by hand first, then printed and sent in the mail — like when you were a kid. I also include some original art, a journal prompt, a mantra, and a surprise.

If you're someone who wants to keep the practice of letter writing alive — the giving and the receiving — visit https://thealphabetj.com. And if you're not ready yet, you can download 30 free journal prompts to help you get started.

In the meantime, your mom would love a letter from you. The blank page is no longer intimidating. It is patiently waiting for you. Pick a prompt and get started.

Thank you for reading.

Xo Trace